"I know that you believe you understand what you think
I said, but I’m not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I
meant"
- Someone smart
The above in a (rather complex, warped and twisted) nutshell
describes what we're up against in these thunderous Times in Turmoil: things,
people and words are not always what they seem, smell like or feel like.
To add to the confusion, we are interpreting each other from
both sides of the barricades, listening to the megaphones from a helicopter or
quietly suffering through a shareholder meeting.
This is why we are happy and quite proud to present a
preconfigured answer to this complex set of problems:
The Occupier's
Dictionary!
As places get occupied, we are sure that the list of words
with their explanations will grow, and we expect you to add to this compendium
(to do so, just leave your comment)! Now you too can engage in intelligible conversation
with riot police in the middle of an eviction!
List of up till
now misunderstood words
IMF - [F; aai-eehm-`èff] Ambush predator,
worshipped by the Rich Countries for
its smooth and velvety skin, its Oodles
of Money and its low key
effectiveness. Feared by the Poor
Countries for exactly the same qualities.
Though the IMF used to roam
freely, it has over time developed a symbiotic relationship with the Rich Countries. The Rich Countries use
the IMF to gain a stranglehold control over the Poor Countries and in turn
allow the IMF to perform Austerity on its victim.
The Poor Country is then let
go after a suitable period (generally 5 to 10 years), much poorer and a hell of
a lot wiser so everybody gains.
The IMF is unique in that it has developed symbiotic
relations with even the parasites of the Rich
Countries like the dreaded Wall
Street, Corporations and Armani Mites.
Rich Countries
(Country) – [Pl M; `hritshh `kown-treez] Disillusioned congregation, containing
both the 99% and the 1% but never really feeling 100%, let alone 200%.
Rich Countries have Oodles
of Money and the problem that this
can never be enough. As a result, Rich
Countries in general do not have a lot of Fun and usually will insist on strict regulation of Fun.
To enforce Fun regulation, Rich Countries deploy the IMF with terrible results. In general one time is all that is need
to take the Fun out of Fun, but then, Poor Countries will avoid a second encounter with the IMF.
Fun – [F; `fønn]
Gracious irresponsibility, but well-dressed. Fun will include (but by its very
own definition refuses to be limited to) having a stroll on a sunny day, wild raucous
sex in strange places, a good glass of wine/beer/wodka/whisky/[enter your
preference], Brahms on a rainy day, smoking a cigarette, smoking something
else, not caring, living in a great climate, etc etc etcetera.
Fun is
unlimited, and extremely annoying if you do not have it.
Poor Countries (Country)
– [Pl M; `poo-ah `kown-treez] Fun bunch, also containing both the 99% and the 1%. To the annoyance of Rich
Countries, Poor Countries usually feel 200%
all the time.
Poor Countries also have Oodles
of Money but they have a different
way of going about it: as they know there is an inverse exponential logic
between Money and Fun they have selected a small group of
citizens to become the hyper 1% and
let them deal with having no Fun at
all.
The fact that everyone else now has Oodles
of Fun greatly enhances the overall Fun, sometimes leading to Fun stuff like real riots, revolution,
orgies and romantic sunsets at the beach.
Poor Countries usually have had bad
experiences with the IMF so don’t
tout your affiliation with the IMF
if you have one…
Oodles – [Pl M; `eeeewdlezz]
Really a lot, mega, “kazooooing that’s a lot”-like
Money – [F;
m`ah-nay] Fictitious aberration, derivative of a derivative of the idea of
effort spent. Rumored to make the world go round, yet completely useless when
timed in the wrong circumstance.
Money is gobbled up by Wall Street, Corporations
and other such parasites in ever greater quantities for reasons known only to
these parasites. Money is therefore also known as ‘free lunch’.
Since Money is
a fictitious aberration and does not really exist, there is also no such thing
as a free lunch. Because of its Quantum-like nature, Money is the subject of
many myths, the most enduring of which is that Money does not smell. We feel
that a warning is appropriate: Money stinks.
Wall Street – [N;
`uahl zreed] Vacuous, perverted, toffee-nosed, faintly hung fairy shade of a
man’s interrupted morning stool. Conflagration of finance, bad breath and
greedy ass kissing.
Wall Street likes to charge extra fees for basic services
not rendered and is prone to preening. Wrapped in a shawl with millions of
stinging angles it infects otherwise healthy state structures and perverts them
into rotten corrupted corpses.
Though Fun-averse,
it likes to sip champagne on a terrace while watching beggars die.
Wall Street
gobbles Money, as it cannot do
otherwise. Having infected all state institutions, it will embark on great
adventures, gambling Taxpayer’s
saved Money until broke.
Then it
will force infected state institutions to recharge it with new greater amounts
of Taxpayer’s Money. The first thing it does when fed is to foreclose any houses
of bereft taxpayers to ensure nobody will think about what just happened.
Corporation – [N;
`kahr-puh-r`ay-zion] mimicry of Wall
Street
Taxpayer – [Undecided;
T`eks-paih-`ahh] The wildebeest of the financial world, means well but easily
manipulated.
Taxpayers are still coming to grips that at some point they
decided to outsource stuff they did not want to bother with to hired guns that
said they would fix it. For that the Taxpayers would pay taxes.
Now the hired
guns are running the show and bossing the Taxpayers around, making them pay tax
for basic services not rendered, telling Taxpayers who (not) to marry, and
generally annoying the hell out of most Taxpayers.
Still, like the wildebeest,
Taxpayers have the urge to migrate at set times in the year, and they migrate
in such a way that predators and parasites can eat their fill, from saving to
investing to saving to investing, in nature’s endless cycle.
Too bad for the
Taxpayer that the ecosystem follows an inverse cycle…
1% - [?; xxxxxxxxxxx] Definitely not the 99%
99% - [?; xxxxxxxxxxx] Definitely not the 1%
100% - [?; xxxxxxxxxxx] What Taxpayers aim for in poetry
Austerity - [F; ows-t`air-i-tee] Nastiest way of dumping a pretty girl, rotten to the core and overall bad idea.
Austerity is based on the ideology of 'shrinking to greatness' but is nastier than this idiocy. There are various approached but the favourite strategy from the dreaded IMF is probably best known: corner your victim, the force him to give up everything he has to your friends (sell his assets), while forcing him to also take everything he has from his friends. This way four goals are reached:
1. You (or IMF) get all his belongings
2. You (or IMF) get all his friends belongings
3. His former friends will never look at him again, and his pretty wife will divorce him
4. There will be no Fun left for anyone
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